Aubrey Bean, the man who brought Texas barbecue and testicle festivals to Music City, will soon open The Meating Place, Nashville's first veg-and-three, on the site of the Tennessee State Fairgrounds.
Unlike traditional meat-and-threes, The Meating Place will offer a choice of one vegetable accompanied by three meats. Each weekday will feature a different vegetable (mac-and-cheese on Mondays, bacon-stuffed baked potatoes on Tuesdays, Creole pork dressing on Wednesdays, etc.) and your choice of three meats from a daily list that includes brisket BBQ, sausage, pulled pork, calf's liver, braised short ribs, roast beef, country-fried steak, smoked ham, breaded pork chops, fried chicken, veal shank, leg of lamb, tenderloin, prime rib, Cornish hen, venison stew, fried turkey legs, ground sirloin, meat loaf, fricasee of rabbit, wiener schnitzel, elk roast, Swiss steak, speck and bresaola, mortadella, bratwurst, knockwurst, corned beef, tongue, head cheese, oxtail stew and--on Fridays only--both buffalo and bull testicles.
We caught up with Judge Bean at his Greer Stadium location. "I don't know how you Yankees do it here in the North," Bean says, "but down in the Lone Star State, ain't no one wants to eat three vegetables with a meal. Eating anything besides meat and beer is a sinful waste of stomach space. We've got a motto down there: If it didn't walk the earth, it ain't worth eating.
"I mean, have you ever been to the state fair? They ain't lined up down Wedgewood to get to the Swiss chard booth. It's corn dogs and ribs they're after. And cotton candy. [Looks back into the kitchen.] Hey Bobby, is cotton candy a vegetable? We could add that on Thursdays."
For that reason, Meating Place patrons should abandon all hope of encountering broccoli, pole beans, asparagus, lettuce or other green vegetables.
"It's a veg-and-three, not a weed-and-three, for God's sake," Bean says. "If you really believe folks around here are gonna order that rabbit food, I've got an arugula patch I'd like to sell you."
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Welcome to April, Fools.
Now, how about some real news?
Getting Old, lighten up my friend. It's one day a year. And don't know if you're aware, but this is a food blog. We do have a news blog, Pith in the Wind. Check it out some time.
very ha-ha funny. seriously though, what happened to judge bean's? are they even open anymore anywhere? i liked that greer stadium spot but everytime i went there i was the only customer...
Doyle, I don't really know. I thought he was still open at Greer, and I think he has a Murfreesboro outpost, according to his website. I think his original Wedgewood location, for all its faults, was the best place for him.
Last time we spoke, he had some health trouble and closed his Greer Stadium location, at least for the season. He said he would be back.
>>brisket BBQ, sausage, pulled pork, calf's liver, braised short ribs, roast beef, country-fried steak, smoked ham, breaded pork chops, fried chicken, veal shank, leg of lamb, tenderloin, prime rib, Cornish hen, venison stew, fried turkey legs, ground sirloin, meat loaf, fricasee of rabbit, wiener schnitzel, elk roast, Swiss steak, speck and bresaola, mortadella, bratwurst, knockwurst, corned beef, tongue, head cheese, oxtail stew and--on Fridays only--both buffalo and bull testicles