I am a busy girl, so I strive to manage my days efficiently. I don't go seeking extra time-sucking activities. I don't Facebook. I don't watch American Idol, and I don't know WTF a Webkin is. When it comes to non-essential extracurriculars, I try to keep things lean.
Which is why I am so pissed off at Dunkin' Donuts.
The mothership of breakfast carbs has sucked me into its tractor beam with the mother of all time-wasters: Create Dunkin's Next Donut Contest.
Not only have I spent untold minutes of my already too-busy day weighing the merits of cake batter versus cruller dough and kreme versus fruit jelly, I've been forced by my own latent mathematical OCD to tally up the possible permutations of donut recipes that could find their way into the online competition.
It works like this: You choose from among three shapes, seven doughs, 62 fillings, 15 frostings and 10 toppings. Add a clever title and a brief recommendation for your product and, well, Bob's your uncle. You could win $12,000 and get America running on your winning
sour cream donut with chocolate-chili filling and lime sugar secret recipe.
Just doing a little back-of-the-envelope math, it looks like there are some 200,000 possible combinations, give or take a few thousand, since you can't put filling in a traditional donut ring and you can't add sprinkles to a sugar-coated varietal. Still, it's enough to waste a lot of time.
Ultimately, it will come down to the marketability of the name, and fortunately, this is where the Bites universe excels. Mr. Pink, I'm looking at you to christen my
sour cream donut with chocolate-chili filling and lime sugar secret recipe with a name that takes the cake. So, put down your Webkins, whatever they are, for a minute, and let's get cracking on this donut racket before the contest expires April 7.