Our Household Provider returned from the supermarket this week brandishing two--yes, two--bottles of Durkee Famous Sauce. What in the hell are we going to do with two bottles of this mayo-mustard chimera of condiments, you ask, which is exactly what I asked. He didn't have any immediate culinary plan, except to say that, by god, he wasn't going to be caught without it like we have been for I don't know long it's been.
The thing about Durkee--or Durkee's, as we like to say--is sometimes you just can't find it. You can look between the Miracle Whip and the Dijonnaise, or you can root among the specialty sauces, over there by the chutneys and whatnot, but sometimes it's just plain inexplicably out. Heaven forbid you ask a supermarket associate, because they'll point over toward the poultry section. At that point, I give up. So I applaud the stick-to-it-iveness of my Household Provider for sourcing this most elusive schmear, which is the core condiment for leftover-turkey sandwiches.
But talk about catching a tiger by the tail: It's March, Thanksgiving is eight months away, and I've got 20 ounces of Durkee Famous Sauce on my hands. What the hell are we going to do with this stuff?