Thursday, January 15, 2009

Titans Fans Re-Taste Defeat: Thanks for Nothing, Trader Joe's

Posted By on Thu, Jan 15, 2009 at 2:54 AM


This from Caleb Hannan, who doesn't forgive easily:

If you're reading Bites, you probably don't need to be convinced that Trader Joe's is, like, the greatest grocery shopping experience eva. Floral prints! That big question mark on a stick! Happy employees! The quirks, they are a-never ending.

 

But even Mighty TJ's has its missteps. Sunday night, while foraging for the week's sustenance, I noticed one such stumble.

 

After pretending to be really interested in some fruits and vegetables, I made a beeline for the free sample area, a.k.a. the Corner Where Things Don't Cost Nuthin'. Now keep in mind, this was less than 24 hours after God's Linebacker and his fellow winged disciples manifested the Lord's divine will whilst defeating the mighty Titans. So it stung when TJ's Sample Lady unknowingly rubbed a handful of Morton's into the wound with an ill-named offering: Smash-'n'-Dash chili-con-queso dip.

 

For those unawares, Smash-'n'-Dash is the moniker bestowed upon the Titans' productive backfield of Lendale White and Chris Johnson. Dash, because Johnson is lithe and lightning-quick. And Crash, because White, by running-back standards, is fat. Two great tastes that taste together...now on a chip!

 

Lactose intolerance prevented me from actually sampling the cheesy offering. But if you're one of the thousands of Titans fans waking up to the reality of a season ended two games too soon, you don't need me to tell you how Trader Joe's snack tasted: bitter.


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