Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Party Mix Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner: Restaurant Seating Etiquette
Posted by Carrington Fox on Wed, Dec 17, 2008 at 6:35 AM
Since Patrick Swayze can't always be around to save us from crappy restaurant tables--like in this bootlegged clip of Dirty Dancing, one of the greatest films of our time--I find that I'm increasingly taking matters into my own hands when the host or hostess tries to seat my party in the cheap seats.
Don't get me wrong: I certainly don't expect to be stationed with the beautiful people, just like I don't expect my dinged-up minivan to be valet-parked at the front door with the all the expensive cars that are, you know, compensating for something. But I don't want to spend a couple of expensive hours squinting into blinding sun, shivering under an over-compensating air vent or dodging the crossfire between the servers' station and the kitchen door. So I just ask politely if we could possibly relocate.
Here are my questions for you, Bites readers:
1. When there are tables open, do you ask a server to move you to a more hospitable spot, like from a table to a booth or vice versa?
2. If so, do you find the server is generally obliging or surly about the request? (Servers, chime in here, please.)
3. What do you consider the worst seats in Nashville restaurants--you know the ones, the dreary tables and Siberian dining rooms to be avoided at all costs?
Comments (11)
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1. I do not ask the server or host to move me. I am a server, and on most nights the entire floor is planned with each reservation in place. It's possible that another open table might not have people at it for the next 30 minutes, but most likely for a reason. It could be that there is a larger party coming in, and they need to hold the table for that party, or they might simply need to hold a table on the CHANCE that there is a large party (because this does happen). It could be to pace the server so that s/he is not triple sat, and you receive the best possible service. It could also be that moving your party to another table causes a domino effect of having to shift every other table in the restaurant around so that each reservation can be sat when they walk in the door. The next time you have a reservation and you have to wait at the door, remember that you might be waiting because a previous party asked to switch tables and threw off the entire floor-plan for the evening, causing you to have to wait for a table that will accommodate your party.
2. I always respond with: "Let me have the host come over and help you find another table, so I do not throw her/his floor-plan off."
That's great perspective. Let me ask this: is there any profiling, for lack of a better word, that goes into seating people? For example, if you are dressed slovenly or if you have kids with you, are you likely to get stashed somewhere out of sight?
From my experiences (as a server for 8+ years in everything from casual to fine dining in cities ranging from Philly to Orlando to Nashville), if there is profiling, there is not much. The host and/or servers may talk about a slovenly dressed person when they get to the kitchen, but I do not think it has much of an effect on the table at which we seat them. If it does, I am sure there are times they get a high profile table, just so the employees can keep looking at/making fun of them. The kids thing only becomes a real issue if a high-chair is needed. This might require that it be in a back corner table, so that there is not a high-chair blocking any walk way. Another instance may be when the restaurant is notified before-hand that children will be part of a reservation. The restaurant may put them in a different room than, say, an anniversary reservation. It may be done to assure that the party that wants a quiet, romantic experience can have that, but it doesn't mean that we are looking for a corner to put the party with children—we just might simply place them in a different room or area.
As I said in my previous post, most of the reservations are plotted out for the evening, and most restaurants would not bother messing up their floor-plan just to get you out of sight. It becomes too much of a headache.
Let me say, however, I am sure there are exceptions to this. I am sure there are some places that want to hide certain people out of sight, but I have not worked for those places and would not want to work for them.
J is very much very correct in his/her description of the real world situation.
As for restaurants that aren't seated on a reservation basis, a similar balance is operative.
Waiters need to be seated in some logical rotation so that they can get to their tables and provide the dining experience the restaurant wants the diners to have.
So there are times that the next party in the door may be taken to a rather empty area of the dining room, because that's the section that needs the next table.
The host or manager or whoever is doing the seating is taking many factors into consideration along with reservations, party size and request tables; that is reservations that may have asked for a specific waiter and a table in that person's section is being held for them.
If you don't like the table you are being taken to for some reason a polite request to the person seating you or your waiter will usually lead to some adjustment or explanation of the situation.
A loud obnoxious demand to be moved immediately to THAT TABLE will cause everyone in the restaurant, employees and customers alike, to regard you as a major pain in the patootie, totally unsure of yourself and in all likelihood a total failure in all of life's most important aspects.
And people do tend to talk among themselves.
1. I sometimes ask to be seated in a specific place, but it is rare. Mostly at more casual establishments.
2. I have never experienced a problem in asking to move to another table.
3. The worst table in a Nashville restaurant is next to the salad bar at Sperry's. If it is crowded then you have people standing right over you in line to get a salad. I love the salad bar at Sperry's, I just don't want to sit next to it.
I've never asked to be moved once seated, but I have asked for a specific area or type of seat (banquette, for example) at the time of reservation or prior to being seated at a more casual place. I can't envision voicing my displeasure at a seat unless it were truly terrible... I'm kind of a control freak, which is why I often prefer sitting in the bar area.
Possibly the second-worst seat in town is the seat in the traffic pattern at the big table in the front of the room at Sportsmans Grill in Belle Meade. We call it the "butt brush" seat, because everyone who walks past brushes against your butt.
And another thought: when our kids/nieces/etc were small, we asked for a booth, so we could trap them in the seats, thereby reducing the flight risk.
1. i was once a hostess, and definitely understand the dynamics of seating, but i do still request to change tables. i was taught that no matter how rudely a customer demands a move, you let them sit wherever they want, and then you shuffle to help out the servers (i would often go ahead and take drink orders if i knew the waiter was busy, or i would change the rotation or switch the tables with another server). many times i ask to switch because i like sitting outside but always get sat next to the only smoker on the patio. i would never demand a move when i know that reservations have been taken.
2. i have never been turned down on a request to move, but a host has given me the choice between 2 tables rather than the "sure, wherever you like," which i find just as accommodating.
3. i would say that i hate that 2nd booth from the back door at fido because there is a horrible draft from the ac vent and you freeze no matter where you sit in the booth. oh and any table next to the kitchen door. there is very little that is more unappetizing than waiters pushing through the swinging doors with piles of dirty dishes, and hearing the clanking and yelling and swishing noises of the kitchen.
could one of you kind servers-past or present please tell me what secret message is on my forehead that says, apparently, if I am alone I want to eat in the dark hidden somewhere, and if I am with someone else it must be a relative of mine and could not possibly be someone with whom I would like to converse seriously or gaze at romantically far away from the largest, noisiest table in the place?
Do I ask for another place? Always (reservations excepted, because that's on me to tell them what the occasion is.)
I am also curious about same sex dining partners - do hosts here in the buckle of the Bible Belt ever include the possibility that they could be romantically involved and not sorority sisters on a reunion or daycare mothers on a shopping date, or is the onus (Diane, would that be onae?) on the party to self-declare their status in the name of an appropriate table?
