Why did the wise men smell like smoke? Because they came from Geier's Sausage Kitchen in Sarasota, Florida, grocer to the sun-seeking Germans and German-Americans who flock to southern Florida to put their beach towels on the best beach spots early in the morning.
Haha! Of course, I'm kidding! Germans just plan well, that's all! Look at Krups, BMW and Bosch -- all examples of good planning. And one excursion planned by many Germanophiles in Sarasota is a trip to Geier's to stock up on Kindereggs, pierogie, stollen, German wines and about 200 kinds of sausages and meats (click for the printable order form).
You can order via internet, or over the phone, where a real person, really connected to the business, fills your order. The package specials are usually the best deal -- the #3 package includes more than 4 pounds of meat for about $50 including shipping, and all are cured sausages, so if the box sits on the porch all day until you return from work, that's just fine. The phone number for ordering is 888-743-4377. Order this week and they can deliver by middle of next week.
The commentator 1050 lb reminded me that Mississippi State has a creamery much closer to Tennessee than Washington State's. Their website, msucheese.com, offers Cheddar, Edam (the most popular, and $18 for a 3-pound "cannon ball") jalapeno and several others created in the food science school. Plus, there's incredibly detailed information on the "faq" site, though it's hard to imagine that people "frequently" ask how many cubes can be cut from the 3-pound Edam (232).
THE MSU shop also offers peanuts and muscadine grape juice, the spicy grape indigenous to the deep South.
It's too late to guarantee delivery by Christmas, but you could opt for a delayed delivery and get your kid (or any kid, really, if you don't have one handy) to make a cute IOU card for the giftee. It can say, "Why did the wise men smell like smoke? Because they came from Afar! And so is your gift!"