Cracked lollipops, shattered hard candies, melted sweets, smeared packaging--if you love sugar, turn away, turn away, good reader, I implore you.
It's not candy fit for a gift. You wouldn't buy it for human consumption at all--it would be like eating the bubblegum from underneath the seats.
We shook our heads. Who would buy this candy offal? Why hadn't it gone straight into the trash?
But wait! What yonder flutter in the cinnamon hearts on the Island of Misfit Candy? A shopper has had a thought: sugarplum table decor!
Crushed peppermint hopes are revived! Strong-backed candy canes and suitably flat mints and other shingle-like candies hear the news: there's work in the gingerbread house-building industry!
Readers, consider the possibilities for out-of-work candy. Don't throw away the candies of yesteryear -- help put them to work! What else can we do for a full-employment plan for misfit sweets?