Sure, you could buy someone a holiday fruitcake that tastes like a brick of raisin-studded glue. Or worse, you could go to the trouble of chopping up dates, pecans and plums and making your own--only to have the ingrate recipient chuck it in Santa's Little Dumpster with all the others.
Seattle novelty store Archie McPhee, home to such culinary wonders as the Watermelon Flavored Sigmund Freud Head Lollipop and the Yodeling Pickle, has the perfect alternative: the Inflatable Fruitcake. For just $6.95 plus shipping, you can mail one of these marvels to any vague acquaintance who merits an obligatory gift--I mean, any beloved relative. From the catalog:
It's festive, it's traditional and it's inedible--just like the real thing. Each vinyl fruitcake comes deflated with a 9-1/2" x 5-1/2" envelope and a decorative sticker, making it easy to send one to all of your friends and family! When inflated, this icon of old-fashioned baked goods is 8-1/2" x 5" x 4-1/2" and makes a great centerpiece for the holiday dinner table.
It probably tastes fresher too. Act now, and maybe you can also get a Corn Dog Air Freshener.