Dice is gonna be pissed!
From Caleb Hannan:
In some ways it makes sense that Zima died just as it was about to get its driver’s license. The fizzy “malternative” was kept alive primarily because it appealed to teenage girls—or at least that sector of the market which demanded a way to combine its love of on-the-sly boozing and Apple Jolly Ranchers.
But, in a pattern whose applicability knows no bounds, the fickle public soon tired of the trailblazer and threw its support behind the 2.0 brands that followed. Which is to say, Zima is to Smirnoff Ice as 90210 is to The Hills, MC Hammer is to Jay-Z, or an 8-track is to an iPod. Or something like that.
As a final tribute to every effete male’s favorite alcopop, please enjoy the following commercial, scored by Alanis Morissette and filmed during one of Diddy’s All-White Hampton parties, minus anyone who actually looks like Diddy. Also, please avoid pouring out any of your Zima while watching. Now that it’s discontinued, we can’t afford to waste any on your failed attempt at pseudo-homeboy tribute.