Monday, October 13, 2008

Blues Name Starter Kit

Posted by on Mon, Oct 13, 2008 at 5:30 AM

click to enlarge giant_fig_person.jpg

Monday morning blues? With your own Blues Name Starter Kit, you can do more than feel blue: you can really be a blues legend, or at least have a name like one.

Here's how: For your first moniker, select a physical shortcoming, condition or malady. Scarred, fat, limping, hairy, blind, crippled, crazy.

For your second name, select a fruit. From apricots to watermelon, any will do, so pick your favorite, or go with the alliterative choice.

Finally, choose a president's name for your last name. Again, any president will do.

Nearly all U.S. presidents have classic Anglo names, virtually guaranteed to sound bluesy. Well, maybe Eisenhower isn't so bluesy, but the Dutch name "Roosevelt" works well, as in my friend's blues name: 4-Fingers Banana Roosevelt.

Above you see a photo of Fat Fig Polk. Me, I ended up with Hobbling Cherry Taft, which doubles as a fantastic name for a candy. My neighbor: Achin' Peaches Johnson.

And perhaps, in 50 years, tomorrow's kids will be playing the same game with Limpin' Raisin McCain or Crazy Mango Obama.

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