Friday, August 8, 2008

Snack Tray: Food Safety Pops a Schlitz, Lesley Does London And Other Tidbits

Posted by Jim Ridley on Fri, Aug 8, 2008 at 11:42 AM

Many thanks to Ulika Food Blog for introducing me to the magic of Dr. Carl Winter, "the Sinatra of Salmonella," who spreads the word about proper food handling via animated song parodies. The one on the Ulika site, which heralds the danger of food-borne bacteria to "We Will Rock You," is a classic on arrival. (Sing it with me now, boom-boom-PAH, boom-boom-PAH: "Buddy, you're a young man, dumb man, careless/And you're gonna make someone quite sick someday/You got spores on your plate/They'll incubate/There's trouble if you cross-contaminate/Miii-crobes, they will KILL! YOU!") But the one above is no less effective for playing to every kid's love of Kenny Rogers, using the Don Schlitz standard "The Gambler" to convey the hazards of improperly thawed ground beef. Maybe it sounds goofy, but if not for "Schoolhouse Rock" I wouldn't be able to sing the Preamble to the Constitution.

• Over at Lesley Eats, I had to rub my eyes when I ran across this sentence: "For a variety of reasons (including a much more organic food supply), the food in England just tastes so much better. Brighter. Every bite does a little dance on your tongue." What?!? This doesn't sound like the England I remember from 20 years ago. Back then, the only time the food danced was when you pinged it off a garbage-can lid. (If that's dancing, the boiled sausage I chucked after one pasty bite was freakin' Gene Kelly.) Of course, I was in Brighton, then the land of the questionable meat pie, and Lesley was in London's spectacular Borough Market, home to some of Europe's most fetching produce. Props to our girl for representing us so well—she even sipped tea with her pinkie extended.

• I had been planning to fry some green tomatoes this week, but Nicole Sauce has pretty much convinced me to try a sautéed green tomato and summer squash ensalada instead. You add onion, crushed Corn Flakes (or corn meal) and Cajun spice to the diced squash and tomato and fry it all up into a large frittata-like patty, then halve it and serve it over lettuce and cilantro topped with salsa and sour cream. I picture something like a Korean seafood pancake, only studded with colorful al dente veggies.

• The next wave in food criticism comes from the awesome Onion AV Club, where a new "Taste Test" feature yields a priceless exchange between writer Josh Modell and a poster who goes by the handle Zodiac Motherfucker. The field of battle is something called Blair's Death Rain XXX Hot Habanero Chips; the Zodiac's discourse starts at "MAN UP AND FACE THE RAIN" and mushrooms into a volcanically obscene all-caps tirade. (Try reading it aloud in the voice of John Goodman in The Big Lebowski.) Confidential to ZMF: the name is Noel "Murray," dimwit, and he could rip out your larynx just by scratching his earlobe.

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I just noticed this Onion headline: "Burned Entree Passed Off as Cajun."

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Posted by mr. pink on August 8, 2008 at 12:05 PM

The first time I went to England (in 2001), I was prepared to subsist on scraps, but was surprised to find the food absolutely delicious. Even outside London in the smaller towns. The queen of the Tupperware Avalanche can back me up on this. The key is to avoid "traditional English food." No blood pudding or shepherd's pie for me. But I'll take the pickle and I'm glad to know I can get it locally, too.
Seriously, I have never seen anything like Borough Market. If the means existed, I would suggest we all take a food field trip there. It's overwhelming in the best possible way.

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Posted by Lesley on August 8, 2008 at 1:06 PM

Actually, I don't make it into a pancake - it ends up more like a nice saute with crunchy fried corny bits clinging to each vegetable. If you like okra, adding a bit of that as well is yummy. Thanks for trying my recipe!

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Posted by Nicole Sauce on August 8, 2008 at 3:09 PM

The first time I went to England
Between Lesley & Claudia I'm way over my annual allotment of snobbery.

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Posted by TobintheGnome on August 8, 2008 at 3:34 PM

I love Blair's Death Rain! They have them at Mitchells Deli on the east side.

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Posted by burrito on August 8, 2008 at 3:39 PM

I think it's more a case of HobNobbery, which is simply a non-elitist nostalgia for anything that smacks of Blighty. It's named for the McVitie's Hob Nob, an oat biscuit that is surely the British equivalent of the French madeleine.

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Posted by Carrington on August 8, 2008 at 4:20 PM

Between Lesley & Claudia I'm way over my annual allotment of snobbery.
Can you borrow from your stockpile of envy?

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Posted by mr. pink on August 8, 2008 at 5:34 PM

Christ, Tobin, how is it snobby to get off your ass and go somewhere?

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Posted by DG on August 11, 2008 at 7:58 AM

gnomey baby - i know you didn't really mean that because if you did, well - i'd have to really wonder what your deal is and it would just seem too sad. i cut your simple palate and shallow pockets all the slack in the world... but to call lesley a snob because she took a business trip and made the best out of it?
i think you owe her an apology - so be a good gnome and own up to your foolishness.
as for me, you can call me a food snob. but well, you might be wrong. because i like pretty much ALL food - as long as it's prepared well with quality ingredients.

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Posted by claudia (cook eat FRET) on August 11, 2008 at 9:09 AM

how is it snobby to get off your ass and go somewhere?
Only on the fantasty world that is Bites are trips to Europe not 'snobby'.

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Posted by TobintheGnome on August 11, 2008 at 10:37 AM

Hear that, Lesley? Don't travel. The furthest you're allowed to go without being snobby is Pigeon Forge. Gatlinburg, and all its chalets, is too high-falutin.

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Posted by DG on August 11, 2008 at 10:47 AM

Dearest Gnome, I assure you that my voyage had nothing to do with my snobbery. Had it not been for the $2000 reduction in airfare for the Saturday stayover, I assure you I would not have had the opportunity of visiting Borough Market. Regardless of that, if I were a real food snob, I would have conveniently left out the part about how much I enjoyed that dim sum chain restaurant, don't you think?
My next business trip is to NYC. I'm being forced to dine in a Laurent Tourondel restaurant. My apologies in advance...

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Posted by Lesley on August 11, 2008 at 1:41 PM

Point of fact, we carry the Death Rain here at Mitchell Deli and I am forever warning people the label does not lie. I like food that bites back tho'
jlh

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Posted by chefjulia on August 11, 2008 at 1:49 PM

lesley, thanks for bringing that up because i am shocked and appalled that you enjoyed a dim sum chain. plus, i thought we took the oath and that we were blood sisters, and swore to NEVER admit that we liked a chain no matter what country we were visiting.
you are now totally unreliable and i throwing you out of the snobbery sistership.

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Posted by claudia (cook eat FRET) on August 11, 2008 at 1:50 PM

You can't spell "Branston Pickle" without snob... ;^)

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Posted by pogo on August 11, 2008 at 4:41 PM

Or "snot." Or "ick." Or "stink." No wonder the stuff's so horrible. It was damned by alphabetical genetics.

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Posted by mr. pink on August 11, 2008 at 10:12 PM

Strangely enough, one of the many anagrams of Branston Pickle is: "Pink Bleat Scorn"

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Posted by pogo on August 12, 2008 at 10:31 AM

Only on the fantasty world that is Bites are trips to Europe not 'snobby'.
Tobin, you have taken your ignorance, stupidity and assholery to levels I thought even you were incapable of. But thanks for entertaining us!
And I do love your typo, "fantasty," whether intentional or not. Perfect for Bites!

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Posted by Jack on August 12, 2008 at 12:06 PM

Fantasty is my new favorite word. Branston Pickle can fulfill your every fantasty. Branson Pickle...not so much.

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Posted by Lesley on August 12, 2008 at 2:58 PM

Speaking of anagrams (and totally off-topic), my name anagrams into "crank evil jams." How cool is that?!

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Posted by Jack on August 12, 2008 at 4:57 PM
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