I just got an email from Brian, who handles public relations for Krystal. Apparently, Brian and the PR machine at the mothership of burger-scented food squares stumbled across my recent ode to the Krystal MilkQuake. He wanted to make sure I knew about the upcoming Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and banana-split MilkQuakes, and to introduce me to the Krystal Freeze.
Made with pure cane sugar in lieu of high-fructose corn syrup, the 20-oz. non-dairy slush beverage is flavored with Monin syrups, the familiar gem-colored elixirs often found in coffee shops. The $1.79 Freeze comes in orange, cherry, green apple, grape, pomegranate, blueberry and Coke.
Usually, I reflexively delete this kind of non-local corporate propaganda. (I’m talking to you marketing woman from Cabot Cheese. And, oy, you over at He’Brew Beer? You drove me meshugana about taste-testing that shipment of Jewbelation Eleven, which then never arrived. Never again.)
But despite its Chattanooga origins, that MilkQuake is so good I gotta expect great things from its slushy cousin. (And frankly, who doesn’t have a slushy cousin from Chattanooga?) Furthermore, given my recent love affair with vocabulary website freerice.com, Brian won me over with this tidbit from the advance copy of the Freeze press release:
“The company is launching an online campaign that offers helpful tips on coping with sphenopalatineganglioneuralgia, the condition commonly referred to as brain freeze.”
Among those helpful tips, he lists pressing your tongue to the roof of your mouth; drinking a glass of warm water at the first sign of brain freeze; creating a mask with your hands and placing it over your mouth and nose while breathing rapidly; and laying your head to the side.
I can’t help but wonder how the customer service professionals at my local Krystal (the corner of Crestmoor and Hillsboro Road) will respond if I ask for a Coke Freeze and a glass of warm water. Or what the arresting officer will say when I explain that I lost control because I was hyperventilating into my hand-mask to alleviate sphenopalatineganglioneuralgia.
But if you’re met with interesting reactions in such Freeze-related situations, I bet Brian and the boys over at Krystal’s blog would enjoy reading about them. Meanwhile, I’m on my way to track down a Freeze. As always, if you find one before me, report back on Bites.