The Fabricator
Juvenile Court clerk Vic Lineweaver, who was jailed on contempt of court charges last week after his office repeatedly failed to produce files needed for a case, says he has come up with a great solution for locating his office’s missing files: “robocalls” to Davidson County residents.
Such calls, in which a recorded message is either played into the ear of an unfortunate citizen who has picked up the phone, or left on an answering machine to be enjoyed later, are a staple of politics—but this is the first instance local observers can recall of the device being used in the actual operation of an elected office.
“I believe in thinking outside the box, especially if it keeps me outside the cell,” says Lineweaver, who is known more for his perpetual campaigning than his performance in office.
A Lineweaver robocall script obtained by the Scene shows he combines his campaigning savvy with a desperate call for assistance.
“Hi, this is Juvenile Court clerk Vic Lineweaver. Would you mind looking around your house for any files from my office? There are just so dang many of them. They all look alike, and all kinds of persnickety folks get all bent out of shape when I can’t find every one of them every minute of the day. And then, the next thing I know, I’m being fingerprinted. Anyway, thanks for checking, let me know if you find one, and I’d sure appreciate your support next election.”
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Despite the complaints of some citizens who object to more robocalls from politicians, Lineweaver defends the scattershot method of file location.
“It’s a great way to find lost stuff. A couple of years ago, I found my lost dog with robocalls,” he says. “I’ll bet George Bush could find Osama bin Laden if he’d just do some robocalls in Afghanistan.”