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In This Issue

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Episode 93

Love-Hate Mail

Words of the Week

‘40 Days and 40 Nights’ Bob Clement compares himself to Jesus while Karl Dean plays rope-a-dope

Suspect Behavior

Outstanding in Their Field If Mexicans don’t pick the strawberries, who will?

Short Takes This week in local theaters

Famous on the Internet

 

 

By This Author

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Smirks and Lies Child’s ‘Gonzales syndrome’ behavior worries parents

100 Oaks Climbs in Rankings of Creepy Malls Climbs seven notches in U.S. News ranking

 

 

The Author

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The Fabricator

 

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1. Karl Dean can go to hell, and take his wife’s money with him.

2. We should bring back the old Nashville I remember, like Harvey’s department stores and their Christmas display in Centennial Park. Wouldn’t that be nice? I’ll bet the ACLU or somebody would get all upset and whiny about it. They’d talk about di-ver-si-ty and res-pect. They can go to hell.

3. Is Jake Butcher still alive? He’s the crook who first called me Little Bob. I hate that bastard.

4. The old Nashville I remember would never have elected a Yankee mayor, let alone two or three of them in a row. The people get the government they deserve. If they don’t elect me, they can go to hell.

5. And kiss my ass.

6. When I started wearing earth tones to look more manly, nobody recognized me at Cracker Barrel. It was a good idea to stop doing that.

7. Second? I came in second to somebody nobody had heard of six months ago. What am I paying Fletcher and Hall for? If they blow this now, they can go to hell.

8. When my voice is amplified and concentrated, it can cut plate steel. Can Karl Dean do that?

9. In the old Nashville I remember, having a Southern accent still counted for something. What kind of accent does Dean have—the Wonkville accent?

10. What if in a couple of years I have to run for Juvenile Court Clerk? Shit.

11. Remember when West End was a tree-lined boulevard with elegant homes and populated by ladies carrying parasols and wearing dresses they bought at Castner Knott? I do, too. Karl Dean doesn’t. Loser.

12. What do we need a public defender for? The public can take care of itself. Let’s build a fountain in the middle of Lower Broad with that money. If you want to coddle rapists, vote for that rapist-coddler, Karl Dean.

13. Three-quarters of the voters in the primary voted against me? It must be poor name recognition. What am I paying Fletcher and Hall for?

14. I’m Bob Clement. If people don’t vote for me, they can go to hell.

15. Dammit, I’m pissed.