Fossils and Football

e don’t much read his book here in SEC Country since, (a) it accepts evolution as fact and, (b) it’s a book, but maybe the best paradigm for understanding football comes to us from the late Stephen Jay Gould, the Harvard biologist and baseball lover who wrote a wonderful volume called Wonderful Life.

Today, we look upon humankind as the inevitable result of evolutionary progress, but in the beginning, Gould argued, nature produced a proliferation of experimental designs, and there was nothing inevitable about their demise. In the case of these first Canadians, some localized ecological disaster probably wiped them out before they could proliferate globally. Were it possible to “rewind the tape” on Earth’s history and change just one thing—as Jimmy Stewart’s guardian angel does in It’s a Wonderful Life—things might be very different now.

Gould’s model actually does much to explain close games. For instance, changing maybe three plays in the Titans’ narrow win over the Jaguars last weekend might have resulted in a very different final score. The same applies to Vanderbilt’s not-so-close weekend loss to Alabama.

Tennessee’s eye-opening 13-10 win at Jacksonville delivered a statement. No one has ever rushed for as many yards (282) against the Jaguars’ stout defense as the Titans did on Sunday. The offensive line opened such gaping holes that Titans owner Bud Adams could have beetled through for positive yardage. The Titans also dominated the scrimmage line on defense, stuffing the Jags’ powerful running game.

Still, it was a near thing. Had the ref not stopped the play, Titans running back LenDale White’s goal-line fumble woulda/coulda/shoulda resulted in a game-changing 99-yard TD run for the Jaguars. Of course, had the Titans opted for a less predictable call on that same fourth-down play, they might have scored a TD of their own—and perhaps another during three first-half red-zone trips that yielded just six lonesome points.

Gould’s law was equally evident in Vanderbilt’s 24-10 loss to Alabama. Vandy’s two highlight-reel plays were abortions, snuffed by the officials (who, for their part, were in midseason form for SEC refs, which is to say: execrable).

On the first play from scrimmage, Vandy wide receiver Earl Bennett caught a long pass that woulda/coulda/shoulda put the Commodores deep in ’Bama territory. But an official ruled that Bennett interfered as he and a defender jostled for position. Two plays later, Alabama returned Vandy’s punt for a touchdown. It was perhaps a 10- to 14-point swing; had Bennett’s catch stood, Vanderbilt was positioned to score at least a field goal and in any event would not have served up a punt to be returned. Not long after, Vandy returned a punt for an apparent score. But that play, too, was short-circuited by a rare offensive facemask penalty.

Rewind the tape, as Gould suggested, change those two plays, and Vanderbilt might have led 17-9 at halftime instead of trailing 16-3. And that in turn might have changed the whole dynamic of the second half.

But even on their home field, Vanderbilt was just the sideshow. The real story, which would have fascinated the old atheist Gould, was the religious pilgrimage of the ’Bama fans. By the tens of thousands, they flocked to see the risen Jesus, who in Tide Nation currently works under the nom de gridiron of Crimson coach Nick Saban.

Turning out in even greater numbers than usual, red-clad ’Bama rooters occupied roughly two-thirds of the seats in Vanderbilt Stadium, creating a home-away-from-home game for the Tide. (Appropriately, the Commodores wore their road white uniforms.) Saban is reviled in Louisiana and Miami, where he bolted after promises of undying love for the promise of $32 million. For the moment he is worshipped in Tideland, where, as evidenced by the slew of hounds-tooth ballcaps on display Saturday, fresh hope has risen of restoring the late (and legendary) Alabama coach Bear Bryant’s dissipated kingdom.

Now, after Saban secured his first SEC win at ’Bama, the faithful are more convinced than ever that the messianic age is upon them. Most everyone else isn’t so sure. Based on their play so far, Alabama looks solid everywhere but exceptional nowhere.