Minnesota's Tim Pawlenty grooms himself for vice-presidential consideration--by being a jerk.
Our reporter sets out in search of a naked lunch.
Before swinging a bat in a lesbian softball league, pick a side: gay or straight?
At JFK, Erhan Yildirim clears corpses for takeoff.
Half-African: Afrijoles
Half-Black: Black Beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican
Half-Arab: Garbanzo Beaner, America’s Worst Nightmare
Half-Canadian: Canexican
Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, Rice-’n’-Beans
Half-Cornish: Cornish Tortilla
Half-Costa Rican: Mextico (“tico” is a nickname for Costa Ricans)
Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex
Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican
Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino
Half-Flemish: Fletino
Half-French: Frenchican
Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, White Bean
Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, Wiener Beaner
Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)
Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)
Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple Salsa
Half-Honky: Chichonky
Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry Tamale
Half-Indian (the American Indian kind): Navajole
Half-Irish: Leprecano, Green Bean, McBeaner
Half-Italian: Mexican Pizza, Spic-talian
Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese
Half-Jewish: Jalapeño Bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit nectar drink), Kahlua-Jewa, Kosher Burrito, Mexi-Jew
Half-Korean: Korexican
Half-Pakistani: Mexistani
Half-Panamanian: Panamex
Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)
Half-Portuguese: Pork-and-Beans
Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback, Wetneck
Half-Russian: Brown Russian
Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican
Half-Samoan: Samexican
Half-Scotch: McRiguez
Half-Turk: Turxican
Other Latinos also joined the game. A half-Spanish, half-American called himself “spam,” a Cuban Jew goes by Jewban, and a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a Minneruvian. Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is “anus” in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with his moniker: Gandhistein. But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho:
How about an American, like all of us mutts?
Don’t see your nickname? E-mail me at themexican@askamexican.net and I’ll compile a full list for my as-yet-unfinished web page!