Ask a Mexican
Dear Readers: the Reconquista has arrived! On May 1, ¡Ask a Mexican! comes out in book form gracias to the literary madmen at Scribner. Expect more of the same, but más: more essays, more illustrations from Mark Dancey (the gabacho who created this column’s logo) and more questions. Below are just a sample of the preguntas the Mexican answers exclusively in his book, broken down by chapters. Want the answers? Buy the book!:
Culture
What
is it about a pirate-themed football team, from Oakland of all places,
that makes Mexicans so crazy? Okay, so they used to have a Hispanic
coach and a Hispanic quarterback. Any other reasons?
Cleveland Brownie
Food
Can you trust a Mexican with your sushi?
Sayonara, Uncle Sam
Fashion
I
used to work at a neighborhood center that serves the Latino community
in San Francisco. I noticed that a large number of the Mexican and
Central American people I met smelled strongly of laundry detergent.
Additionally, Mexican guys love their stinky cologne. Can you explain
this?
Stinkin’ Sammy
Music
I
am originally from the South and resent country music. Are there
Mexicans who are from Mexico and resent that trilling, wailing,
accordion-blaring music the same way? Are there kids of Mexican
immigrants who can’t stand the crap their parents play, the same way me
and my friends couldn’t stand Ronnie Milsap? Are there Mexicans who
think the music similarly reflects stereotypes of being rural, poor and
less educated?
Achy Breaky Corazón
Sexo
Why do we always think Mexican men drink tequila and sing mariachi tunes, while the women are pretty señoritas?
Viva México
Immigration
How
am I supposed to like Mexicans that come here by just jumping a fence
and running or sneaking onto a transport truck, entering this country
illegally, when you have law-abiding immigrants working their asses off
to come to this country legally?
Love the Mexicans but Hate the Border-Hoppers
Language
Why
don’t Mexicans ever drop their Spanish? Even third- and
fourth-generation Mexican Americans still speak the language to some
degree or another. I speak Japanese, but I’m losing it quickly and when
my mother passes on, so will my language. The typical Asian American
kid may attend Chinese, Korean or Japanese school on Saturdays, but
guess what? They do it because their parents force them to attend, and
I bet they speak English during recess.
Feeling a Bit Nippy
Pre-order your copy from Amazon.com today, or get a copy at your local bookstore next week. Keep reading this column to find out when the Mexican invades your town—or, better yet, visit askamexican.net or myspace.com/ocwab for updates and contests. Buy the book, por favor: I need to pay off my coyote!
Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net.