Film
BALLS OF FURY 1. Balls of Fury is a movie about: a) A former table tennis prodigy (Dan Fogler as Randy Daytona) enlisted by the FBI to infiltrate the underground ping-pong tournament of a legendary Chinese criminal (Christopher Walken). b) Suppository jokes. c) Little worth discussing and even less worth seeing. d) All of the above. 2. In his first leading role for the big screen, Fogler, a Tony-winning actor (The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee), can best be described as: a) A comedic genius. b) Killing time until his agent gets a call from Judd Apatow. c) A cross between Jack Black and Richard Simmons. 3. When Randy undergoes intensive ping-pong training at the Happy Mu Shu Palace (“If Mu Shu fits, wear it!”), his guru Wong (James Hong) offers the following inscrutable advice: a) “Be as the cricket.” b) “The cheeks cannot hold the smoke. That is what it is.” c) “Ping-pong is not the Macarena.” d) “I miss you, Victor Wong.” 4. Are Chinese people funny? a) Yes. b) No. c) Totally, like with those weird little sticks they use to eat and everything! 5. Balls of Fury is best viewed: a) At the multiplex. b) On an airplane. c) Loaded. d) Never. —Nathan Lee (Opens Friday)
SEPTEMBER DAWN One of the American indies least likely to appear at Sundance, September Dawn recounts the grim tale of the 1857 Mountain Meadows massacre, wherein the men, women and children on a California-bound wagon train were slaughtered by irate Mormons. Mountain Meadows’ unresolved controversies include the degree to which Joseph Smith’s successor Brigham Young (Terence Stamp) was involved in planning the atrocity. Although September Dawn suggests that Young lied under oath and let one of his commanders take the fall, it places the blame on a fictional Mormon bishop (steely Jon Voight), who claims to have been informed by a celestial Smith that the Gentiles are cursed and soon has his congregation shouting for “blood atonement.” Meanwhile, as the wagon train wends its way through Mormon territory, a certain amount of fraternization transpires, at least among the young people. The bishop’s boy (Trent Ford) locks eyes with a settler girl (Tamara Hope). A pastor’s daughter, she befuddles him by quoting gentle Jesus; he’s the product of a cruel and punitive God whom he hopes to elude by tagging along to California. The schematic script is full of heavy ironies and hackneyed dialogue. And director Chris Cain’s style—let’s call it Americana gravitas—gives September Dawn the ham-fisted lyricism of political ads and pharmaceutical commercials. —J. Hoberman (Now playing)
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