Minnesota's Tim Pawlenty grooms himself for vice-presidential consideration--by being a jerk.
Our reporter sets out in search of a naked lunch.
Before swinging a bat in a lesbian softball league, pick a side: gay or straight?
At JFK, Erhan Yildirim clears corpses for takeoff.
Let the games begin. A world series of assassins may be the movie’s five-word pitch but, burdened with an unnecessarily complicated and aggressively insistent backstory and hence immediately unintelligible, Smokin’ Aces is one busy-busy-busy movie. Israel is a compulsive card-shuffler and so is Carnahan. The screen splits, the action jumps, the FBI surveillance guys in the van outside are buzzed by superfluous static. There’s no shortage of parallel action, although Carnahan doesn’t cut so much as switch channels in building up to the inevitable super-colossal shootout in Israel’s supremely trashed suite.
Posturing is universal, with performances in this talky, degenerate Ocean’s Eleven ranging from the hyperactive to the uninflected. The obscure object of desire, his digs strewn with spent hookers, Piven’s Israel is distinguished mainly by a frazzled lack of conviction. (He’s a hustler without hustle.) Guest-star Ben Affleck makes a mildly amusing low-rent bail bondsman; Andy Garcia, fighting through a mush-mouthed drawl as a soulless FBI bureaucrat, is rather less so. And, in a flash frame of cinema verite, Wayne Newton himself gets a cameo.
A few livelier perfs may be found around the movie’s edges. As a junior FBI agent on an increasingly perilous stakeout, Ryan Reynolds stands out by just keeping focused and pretending to care about his buddy Ray Liotta, the film’s unlikely elder statesman (and also a veteran of Narc). Similarly, Alicia Keys parlays a fetchingly bored attitude and hoochie-mama hot-pants into a credible movie debut; as her partner in crime, Taraji Henson stops the show by stupefying an affably clueless desk clerk with her motor-mouth feminist rap.
Smokin’ Aces has no particular narrative—it’s basically a study in convergence as a vast assortment of FBI guys, hotel security men, SWAT teams and killers of all varieties (including a clan of lunatic chainsaw neo-Nazi mohawk-coiffed punks) fight, claw, and swarm their way up to Israel’s suite. The getups are fun, and to add to the party, new characters keep arriving on the scene up until the very end—it’s nearly impossible to keep them all straight, particularly once they start shape-shifting and coming back to life. This is not necessarily a bad thing. (Richard Kelly’s Southland Tales is a kindred, albeit far richer, example of shaggy-dog phantasmagoria.)