Virtual Gojo

Gojo, the chimp that the Tennessee Department of Transportation has used for years to throw darts and select the locations of new road projects, will soon have an even higher profile.

Sources in the Information Technologies area of state government say that the famous simian, who lives in a state-maintained apartment in downtown Nashville with round-the-clock keepers, will soon be the star of his own section of the Tennessee.gov website.

“Everybody hates traffic and road repair delays, but everybody loves Gojo,” says TDOT commissioner Gerald Nicely. “Tennessee has the most transparent system of choosing its road repair projects in the country—Gojo throws his darts, and that’s where we work.”

The tradition of chimp-selected work locations in Tennessee came about as a reform. In earlier times in the state, projects were often selected based on corrupt politicians taking bribes from crooked road builders. When the public cried out for reform, the idea of having projects selected by a chimp with a dartboard was seen as a major ethical step forward.

Gojo’s website, which is not yet active (but was accessed by hackers from the Fabricator Investigative Unit), will allow visitors to take a virtual tour of the chimp’s apartment, play a game where a computer user can pretend to throw a dart to select a road project, and will even have a blog “written” by Gojo. Sample entry title: “Why Are Bananas and Those Who Obey Speed Limits Alike? Because I Like Them Both!”

“We’re also going to have a gift shop where people will be able to buy Gojo T-shirts, Gojo-branded dartboards and stuffed Gojo toys,” Nicely says. “This will really generate some revenue for the state and create goodwill in the bargain.”