Local Firm Lands McCain Defibrillator Contract

Nashville’s Defibrillation Corporation of America has landed the contract to provide portable defibrillators at John McCain rallies from now through election day.

Observers at McCain rallies say it is not unusual for dozens of members of the audience to require the use of this medical technology.

“It’s common for McCain to have to pause several times during a speech while heart patients in the crowd are shocked back into rhythm,” says one campaign observer. “The shouts of ‘Clear!’ and the buzzing sounds of the paddles on chests really lend a unique aura to the campaign.”

The company made a pitch for the agreement last week when McCain swung through Nashville for a fundraiser, and may have clinched the deal when the company’s products performed well when they were used four times on various arrhythmic GOP faithful over the course of the two-hour event. DCA president Todd C. Hodel heard the next day that his firm had been selected.

“This is a big contract. All the makers of defibrillators in the U.S. were really wanting this one, not only for the prestige, but also the size of the order. These McCain people need a lot of defibrillation. His rallies are big events full of people we think of as the target demographic for our devices.”

Other places where the company’s “target demographic” can be found, and to which the company has previously provided defibrillators, include the (now closed) Belle Meade Cafeteria, all remaining area Shoney’s, H. G. Hill and several local funeral homes.

Hodel says his company doesn’t expect a similar order from the camp of Barack Obama.

“We’ve done a little market research, and [Obama’s] supporters tend to hyperventilate and faint, but they don’t go into cardiac arrhythmia,” he says. “I’m not sure what the difference is.”