Inspecting the Inspector

If you’re thinking about buying a house, it’s a good idea to do it now, or soon. Right now, your dream house will probably cost you less than it would have a year or two ago. If you’ve got some down-payment cash on hand, a steady job and a solid credit history, you’re in business. There are houses, real estate agents and sellers aplenty, eagerly waiting for you.And there’s this: You’ll probably be able to hire a home inspector dirt cheap. There are about 760 licensed home inspectors in Tennessee right now. That’s way too many. Tennessee could get by with a couple hundred home inspectors, maybe less. When you’re ready to get some help picking out your dream house, you’ll have your pick of price-cutting home inspectors.But that’s not good. In the 20 or so years that I’ve been doing home inspections and criticizing the construction practices of local builders, I’ve never seen a good underfunded builder or a good underfunded home inspector. Lack of funds usually means lack of a decent construction library, lack of continuing education, lack of proper tools, lack of decent insurance, rampant corner-cutting and a raggedy truck. In these semi-desperate times, low pay for a home inspector can even mean lack of gasoline. Recently, I read an online discussion in which some home inspectors were considering adding 10 bucks to their inspection fees, to cover the cost of gasoline. Believe me when I tell you, if you’re running a home inspection business and you have to worry about coming up with 10 to 20 dollars a day for fuel, you’re running on empty.Folks in the home inspection business are getting antsy, and looking for ways to increase their business. The usual method of doing that is to go begging for referrals from real estate agents— not the usual polite and businesslike begging, but outright groveling. For instance, here’s a little something from a home inspector’s website in his “Agents” section:WE WILL NOT KILL YOUR DEALWhat’s that mean? It means you’ll always receive an uncompromising, thorough and objective inspection that will be delivered and communicated in a way that will not scare your clients.When a home inspector starts promising rosy reports to the real estate agents, he’s betting his business. If he finds more problems than a real estate agent is willing to disclose, his referrals will dry up instantly.Here’s another sample of desperation, from a home inspector’s report written a few years back:The home is in good condition and the bedded plants both maturing and exotic. The young oak trees compliment these grounds and along with resident squirrels are pleasing to look at. But the beauty is in the tropical outdoors. The private back yard, especially when viewed at sunset from the rear deck (and with a nice cold beer in hand) watching the baitfish scatter is confirmation of the fact that Central Florida is truly a beautiful place in which to live.These two home inspectors—neither of which works in Tennessee, thank goodness—have ditched their duty to their customers, and have joined the sales team outright.You can learn a lot about a home inspector by looking at his website. If he has a special “Agents” section there, chances are he’ll be working for the real estate agent, not you, on inspection day. If your home inspector of choice doesn’t have a website, that’s another indication of lack of funds and maybe a lack of technical expertise. You want a home inspector who can at least use Google to find out things that he needs to know. For instance, a home inspector I know once Googled a certain brand and type of furnace and found out that it had been recalled, and that the recall would be in effect for just one more day. The home inspector called the furnace manufacturer, explained his findings, and his customer got a new furnace. You want a home inspector with 21st century tech skills.Which brings me to this: before you hire a home inspector, ask him directly: “Do you write the report yourself, or do fill in the blanks using a software program?” You want a home inspector who understands what he sees and can create a clear written record of what he saw. Today many, if not most, home inspectors use generic point-and-click “comment libraries” to fill in the blanks in their reports. If your home inspector uses off-the-shelf reporting software, words that end up in your report will have come from somebody who never saw the house you’re about to buy. If your inspector makes one wrong click, your report could suggest that you install snow dogs on your roof, even if you live in Key West.Right now, Tennessee home inspectors are getting close to their license-renewal deadline, and they’re going to have to decide whether or not they want to pay licensing fees to the state and premiums to their insurance companies. I’m guessing that the home inspector population will be cut by half over the summer. With any luck, the good ones with stable businesses will be the ones left standing. When you get ready to buy a house, hire one of those home inspectors. In the long run, a smart expensive one will cost you a whole lot less than a dumb cheap one.