New Sounds Promotions

• Karl Dean Ugly Socks Night: Attendees are encouraged to wear the ugliest socks they own. A panel of celebrity judges, headed by Mayor Dean, will select the most hideous pair. In addition, the first 1,000 lucky fans will receive a replica of the mayor’s own famous puke-yellow socks, which are so ugly they became the subject of a negative campaign ad last year.

• Trough Urinal Appreciation Night: Every male who can’t get enough of that ballpark staple communal urination experience will be invited to the park on the same night.

• Thermal Plant Nostalgia Night: A center field ceremony will recall the days when prime riverfront property was used to burn garbage, instead of being put to good use. For true nostalgic effect, players will play the game in thermal plant employee coveralls.

• Bible Bobblehead Night: Local churches will get discounted tickets, and attendees will receive a bobblehead of a biblical figure, including a choice of Moses, Noah, Jesus and St. Paul. John the Baptist will also be available but is not technically a bobblehead since the head isn’t attached to a body.

• Ted Williams Night: All frozen concessions will be half-price.

• Olympic Torch Relay Day: Scheduled for a Sunday afternoon just before the beginning of the Summer Olympics, the torch will mimic its recent successful trip through San Francisco by passing through the whole ballpark, but nobody will actually see it.

• Political Junkies’ Nights: For those who are concerned that a trip to the ballpark may force them to miss part of the Democratic and Republican conventions, a C-SPAN feed will play on the stadium’s video screen.

And, finally, a return of the most popular Sounds promotion of all:

• Thank God Football’s Back Night: In early fall the Sounds’ and Titans’ seasons overlap, and this popular promotion gives several lucky fans tickets to leave the Sounds game and go to LP Field to see the Titans play.