Frist Seeks to Install Nuclear Reactor

Former Sen. Bill Frist, who last week won a zoning variance to install a towering 8-foot gate outside his Bowling Avenue mansion, has now filed papers to begin installation of a nuclear reactor in the home’s basement.

The small reactor, part of General Electric’s HomeNuke 9000 series, will produce enough electricity to power the mansion and will allow Frist to sell the excess power to NES for redistribution to other customers, says a Frist spokesman.

“Installing a home nuclear reactor is a very responsible thing to do,” the spokesman continues. “Nuclear energy doesn’t contribute at all to global warming, and, like all of us who were inspired by Al Gore, the senator has been working hard to reduce his carbon footprint.”

The Metro Board of Zoning Appeals, whose members appear to be keeping an open mind until they hear more about the device, must approve the installation.

“I don’t know much about these things, but Frist said in a letter that he saw a video of one and that, since he’s a doctor, he could tell that it was safe,” one board member says.

Sources in the Frist camp say the spent fuel rods and other radioactive waste will be disposed of safely and that neighbors have nothing to fear from the reactor. The family plans to put the waste in lead-lined containers and instruct a member of the household staff to drive the containers to Oak Ridge for disposal twice a month.