The Year in Review

Bruce Barry

2003 was a charming one if war, terrorism, disease and corruption are your idea of charm. Here’s my selective list of events that collectively suggest next year can’t help but be an improvement (but then again, that’s what I said a year ago).

Jan. 9—Proliferation North Korea withdraws from the 1985 Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, something no country has ever done. The North Korean government declares “no intention to produce nuclear weapons.... Our nuclear activities at this stage will be confined only to peaceful purposes.” Six months later, North Korea announces it has processed enough plutonium to make a half-dozen nuclear weapons.

Jan. 28—Obfuscation President Bush in the State of the Union address says, “Sometimes peace must be defended. A future lived at the mercy of terrible threats is no peace at all.” He mentions Saddam Hussein’s efforts to buy uranium in Africa and import aluminum tubes for nuclear development. A few days later, Colin Powell tells the U.N. about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction, insisting that “every statement I make today is backed up by...solid sources. These are not assertions. What we are giving you are facts.” Six weeks later, President Bush starts a war in Iraq without U.N. approval, even as polls show less than half of Americans favoring war in Iraq without U.N. approval.

Feb. 1—Disintegration The space shuttle Columbia breaks apart upon reentry into the atmosphere, killing its crew of seven. After the disaster, President Bush’s aides discuss how it would “affect his efforts to rally public opinion behind a war with Iraq.” Six months later, the board investigating the accident issues a scathing 248-page report, predicting the loss of more shuttles and astronauts unless NASA transforms its “broken safety culture.”

March 5—Adjudication The U.S. Supreme Court upholds California’s “Three Strikes” law, holding that a 50-year sentence without parole for stealing some videotapes is neither cruel, unusual nor disproportionate. In another case, the court rules that a $145 million damage award against an insurance company with almost $50 billion in annual revenue was disproportionate. Proportionality is a beautiful thing.

April 21—Discrimination Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) says of the Texas sodomy case, “If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything.” A White House spokesman says the president thinks Santorum is “doing a good job as senator” and “is an inclusive man.”

May 1—Exaggeration President Bush alights on an aircraft carrier in a jumpsuit and trumpets victory in Iraq in front of a “Mission Accomplished” banner that he later said was put up there by carrier crew members, conveniently omitting the fact that they did so at the behest of White House officials.

Aug. 19—Detonation A suicide truck bomber demolishes U.N. headquarters in Baghdad, killing 20 and wounding over 100—the deadliest attack on the organization in its history. Six days later, two car bombs explode minutes apart, killing 50 people in the heart of Bombay.

Sept. 10—Reincarnation Two years after 9/11, a newly released videotape features Osama bin Laden and one of his lieutenants calling on like-minded obsessives to “devour the Americans” and “bury them in the Iraqi graveyard.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld reassures us that the tape is merely part of an “information operations campaign” intended to “terrorize people and frighten them.”

Sept. 26—Deprivation New Census Bureau figures show 1.7 million more Americans living in poverty in 2002 compared to 2001, bringing the total to 34.6 million. The number of people without health insurance rose by 2.4 million to 43.6 million total. Is this a great country, or what?

Oct. 7—Infatuation California voters take leave of their senses, installing an actor, former bodybuilder and serial groper with no experience or relevant qualifications as their governor. Res ipsa loquitur.

Oct. 28—Investigation The first civil suits are filed in a widening scandal on corruption in the mutual fund industry. One official describes the industry’s widespread trading abuses as “outrageous and deceitful.” The Securities and Exchange Commission turns out once again to have been asleep at the switch.

Nov. 25—Dissimulation Congress gives final approval to a controversial Medicare reform bill, including a prescription drug benefit. President Bush says, “For the sake of our seniors, we got something done.” He neglects to mention the drug and insurance companies whose future profits the measure is tailor-made to protect.

Dec. 5—Revelation Scientists announce the discovery of a 425-million-year-old fossilized penis—the oldest penis in the fossil record —belonging to a tiny animal like a water-flea whose penis can be as much as a third of the size of its entire body. There’s a clear opening here for a Dick Cheney quip, but I’ll leave that one be.

Noel Murray